When you share what’s going on in your life, what is your intention? Are you looking to get something off of your chest? Are you enjoying relaying the details of your day? Or are you looking to prove something to someone (or even yourself)?
Do you post things on Facebook and check to see how many likes you got? Do you think about what you can post on Facebook that would make the biggest impression on others?
Do you talk incessantly about your job or your relationship or how much money you’re making? If so, there’s a good chance you are really insecure about whether you even deserve it.
People who are comfortable with who they are and what they have don’t have a need to speak incessantly about those things. Similarly, those who are always talking about themselves and how great they are typically have the most insecurities. Those who are comfortable in their skin and are confident in certain areas don’t have the need to keep reminding others about them.
For example, the friend who always talks about how great her relationship is is likely the one of your friends closest to a breakup or divorce. The person who always talks about how educated and smart they are most likely secretly believes she isn’t good enough or smart enough to achieve her goals. The person who is quietly doing her thing is likely the one getting the promotion or building a healthy relationship that will last.
So what if you look around and realize that you are the one who is always seeking validation? You’re always telling people how good you are because you want them to approve of you.
The most important thing you can do is to acknowledge it. Once you can be honest about a situation it loses some of its power. Then you can release the need to get the approval of others. Somewhere deep down you believe you need to get others’ approval. This may have stemmed from your childhood when a parent gave you more attention when you were ‘good’ or when you earned their approval. You’ve simply continued to do something that served you well in childhood.
Well you no longer need that approval. In fact, needing the approval of others is one of the most surefire ways to NOT love your life. Repeat the affirmation that you release the need for others’ approval and watch how your life begins to unfold. When you feel the urge to impress someone, simply repeat the affirmation until it becomes second nature to you. Your confidence and your happiness quotient will rise in the process.