Ever wonder why the things you don’t really care about in life always work out the best and easiest?
I thought about this when I recently saw an interview with former Miss America Vanessa Williams about her book describing her challenges and successes. (She’s probably best known now for her role in Desperate Housewives and now the supernatural series 666.) Williams was the first African American woman to become Miss America back in 1983. She then went on to lose her crown after a scandal in which nude pictures of her surfaced. Speaking in the interview about the loss of her crown, Williams said it was painful, but it didn’t devastate her because her goal in life was never to become Miss America. She had just entered the pageant to try to win scholarship money. I immediately thought to myself that there were probably more than a few women who were devastated that year because their biggest dream in life, which was to become Miss America, was crushed.
I’ve noticed this phenomenon in other areas. I’ve seen people whose driving desire is to be head of their department at work be passed over for promotions in favor of those who were happy with the position they held before. I’ve seen people enter a relationship not caring where it went at all get married in the blink of an eye. I’ve seen those who don’t care about how much money they have happen upon an inheritance or some other form of instant riches.
So what gives? There’s got to be a piece of wisdom associated with this, and there is.
One of the easiest ways to sabotage yourself is to want something too much. I was recently listening to a recording of an event by Abraham-Hicks. An audience member said that he was happy with his life, but he wanted help in figuring out how to get to the next level. Esther Hicks, channeling Abraham, pointed out that his statements were incongruent. If he were really happy with his life, he wouldn’t be so focused on getting to the next level. He’d be happy where he was. The next level would come when it came, and that would be fine too. Remember, your point of attraction has more to do with what you’re feeling than what you’re thinking. So if you’re unhappy with your current reality and waiting for some change to make it better, you’re going to attract more of what makes you unhappy.
So how do you make sure you don’t want something too much?
Do something to show how satisfied you are with where your life is today.
- If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to drop those last few pounds, buy a couple of new articles of clothing that make you feel stunning at the weight you are right now.
- If you’ve been grumbling because it’s taking you too long to sell your house and buy a new one, buy some flowers to spruce up the old place and invite some friends over to make new memories in the home you live in today.
By making peace with the present, you want what you want a little less. Not only will you experience an instant pick-me-up, but you may find that your transition to the new comes a little faster and easier.
For more on Vanessa Williams:
- Desperate Housewives: The Complete Eighth and Final Season
- You Have No Idea: A Famous Daughter, Her No-nonsense Mother, and How They Survived Pageants, Hollywood, Love, Loss (and Each Other)
- Vanessa Williams – Greatest Hits: The First Ten Years