How having no goals can make you a doormat

Many people talk about the value of setting goals and how that helps you to achieve things. Others argue that too much focus on goals can keep you from living day to day in the process. But here’s a reason why you definitely need some goals — or at least some strong priorities. Without them, you’re setting yourself up to be a doormat.

One of the biggest challenges some people have is saying no. If you are one of them, you may find yourself agreeing to do something for somebody else and then later cursing at the other person (and yourself) because you’re stuck in an activity¬†you have no desire or interest in doing. Not only that, but you realize (too late) that the thing you agreed to do is taking precious time away from the things you would rather be doing.

Those things you’d rather be doing are clues into your goals and priorities. But if you’ve never taken the time to think about them and acknowledge them in some way, such as by writing them down, you probably wouldn’t consciously prioritize them. So when someone asked you to do something, you would have had no way of knowing whether that activity aligned with any of your goals. (Until you found yourself regretting doing it.)

With a clear set of goals, it becomes easier to determine whether you should say ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ While some people have trouble saying ‘no’ because they don’t want to disappoint others, many people simply don’t know what they want until they find themselves regretting it. You may think ‘sure, why not?’ But in reality, the actions we take in our lives should all be in alignment with something we prioritize, such as our relationships, our career or our financial standing. Goals don’t all have to be serious. One of your goals can even be to have fun.

Once you have that list of goals and someone asks you to do something and it doesn’t fall in line with any of your goals, the best thing you can do for yourself is say ‘no.’ You don’t have to think about it, you don’t have to ponder. Live your life consciously taking actions that enhance your life and are in alignment with your priorities.

Then, you can take the steps to actually bring your goals to fruition.

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